Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
