I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
