his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize