Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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