plz talk dirty to me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
