Fuck appropriateness.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
