I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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