if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
