I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm really into asian looking animals
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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