doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
