Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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