Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
