help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
