I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
