The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
