I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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