Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
