Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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