the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
