We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
