he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
No stitches, just platelets and will power
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
A+ Viking dick
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
