He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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