3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
