tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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