I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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