is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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