i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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