I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
