Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
