addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
