im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize