I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
