i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
