i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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