what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
