How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
