peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
