i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
