he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
