I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize