Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
