I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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