walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
