Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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