She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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