I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
