i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
