She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
