Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
