I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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