i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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