he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
