Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
