and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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