Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
