At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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