Your tits are I can't wait for
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We need to get me chipped asap
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
