we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
