New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
