the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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