yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
