You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
