remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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