I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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