So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Help. Why am I so naked?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize