all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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