So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
