My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
