It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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