You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
