Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
