the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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