New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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