Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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