Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
