sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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