Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
