Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
